Burnt Lumpia: Filipino Food | Filipino Recipes | Culinary Hijinks

In Our Element

I've written in this space before about my usual apprehension when it comes to meeting persons unfamiliar to me.

So for me, it's a rare occasion in which I get to meet someone for the first time and then immediately feel at complete and total ease with that person. Rarer still are the times when I come across an entire group of strangers and feel a strong sense of camaraderie with them after only a few hours.

But such was the case last weekend, when my wife and I were lucky enough to attend a Food Blogger Party at the home of Todd and Diane of White on Rice Couple. Not only were we treated to a seemingly endless array of great food, but we were also lucky enough to have met a group of truly wonderful people.

Todd and Diane's shindig started off innocently enough. After all of their guests had arrived, Todd led everyone on a tour of the world famous White on Rice Couple Garden. While everyone's mouth was agape from the awesomeness that is Todd and Diane's backyard, the hosts seized upon this moment of vulnerability among their guests--Diane quickly assigned each of us to go through this amazing garden and pick out various herbs that she'd be using for our dinner.

Despite this seemingly sly move by our hosts to get us all "working" at their dinner party, none of us minded helping them out one bit. Although we were all guests in the home of strangers, none of us shirked at our newly given responsibilities as herb foragers. As lovers of food, we reveled in these duties. And I was very content to count myself among these guests that night...

Festival of Philippine Arts and Culture

In case anyone that happens to read this blog will happen to be in SoCal from September 6-7...

The 17th Annual Festival of Philippine Arts and Culture (FPAC) will be going down in San Pedro, CA from September 6-7, 2008. As the name suggests, this two-day extravaganza will showcase a multitude of Pinoy arts and culture through this year's theme of:

Katutubong landas tungo masaganang bukas – “Native ways toward a prosperous future.”

According to the FPAC website: FPAC is Southern California’s largest and longest running Filipino tradition. FPAC is made possible by over 250 participating artists, 400 volunteers and 25,000 attendees over the weekend. Set in the breathtaking seaside park of Point Fermin, FPAC has something for the whole family to enjoy.

And from what I've been told so far, FPAC indeed has a lil' something for everyone this year. Headlining FPAC will be Latin R&B Singer Joe Bataan (I'm already shakin' my hips in anticipation, unless that's not cool for a guy to say. In that case, I'm tapping my toes.)

In addition to Joe Bataan, Christine Gambito of Happy Slip fame will also be headlining at FPAC and performing her debut comedy set (this I definitely have to check out as I am a HUGE Happy Slip fan).

Aside from the headliners at FPAC, there will also be live art and painting at the Pilipino Artist Network (PAN), as well as a number of other performances including traditional and contemporary Filipino music and dance. In fact, my own dance crew, Marvin and the Patis Patrol, will engage in a dance-off with Kaba Modern. Ooohhh, you got served!

(I'm joking, of course. Although Kaba Modern will actually be performing at FPAC, I will definitely not be competing in a dance-off. I've just always wanted to write Ooohhh, you got served! I feel complete.)

Although I will not be cabbage-patching (it's a lost art), I will definitely be in attendance at the Festival on at least one of the days checking out the multitude of food vendors and stuffing my face with Filipino food. In addition to the good eats that will be on offer, I've also been told that there will be a Balut-eating contest and a Giant Vegetable Competition in the Seniors Village (who's got the biggest ampalaya, perhaps?).

So if you're interested in learning about Filipino culture, or if you want to peruse some great art from Pinoy artists, or if you just want to eat some great food, then I strongly suggest you check out the Festival of Philippine Arts and Culture. And no, silly, you don't have to be Filipino to attend. Tell a friend, homey.

What: The 17th Annual Festival of Philippine Arts and Culture

When: September 6-7, 2008. 10am-6pm for both days.

Where: Point Fermin Park, 807 Paseo Del mar, San Pedro, CA 90731

For more info, visit www.filamarts.org

There Will Be Food, or, My Giant Face

A few things I learned after my appearance on Kababayan LA:

1. Apparently, Daniel Day Lewis won some sort of an award.
2. Kababayan LA's Oh So Lovely Host, Ms. Jannelle So, is Oh So Lovelier in the flesh.
3. The camera doesn't only add 10 pounds, it adds a giant fat face to otherwise semi-normal and proportionate food blogger bodies.

With all that said, I still had a very good time taping my segment about "blogging." Like I mentioned in my previous post, I really had no idea what to expect going into this. And when I arrived at the LA 18 studios yesterday, I only met with the Oh So Lovely Ms. So for 2, maybe 3, minutes before I went on camera.

During this short meeting, the Oh So Lovely Ms. So explained that she would be asking me the "positives and negatives" of blogging--and that was pretty much all the notice I got as far as what I'd be asked. It seemed pretty general, but I figured I could handle it and get some of my points across.

Also during this briefing, the Oh So Lovely Ms. So said that she had forgotten that she would be doing an Oscar wrap-up show that day and that I probably wouldn't be on for very long--which in all honesty, was kind of a relief to me.  I was extremely nervous at this point and figured that the less time I was on camera the better.

After our little impromptu chat, the petite, red-clad hostess left me to my own devices in the green room while she went on camera to conduct an over-the-phone-interview with another guest for that day's show--a Pinoy news anchor from the BBC.

At this point, my nerves were really getting the best of me. I knew that in a couple of minutes, I'd be called in for my on-camera interview. I was doing everything I could to not piss myself.

Burnt Lumpia on TV

This Monday, February 25 I will be making an appearance on (very, very, very local) television--sans the charred lumpia hiding my identity.

Seriously.

If you happen to live in Southern California, and will be at home this coming Monday at 4:30pm, then you will be able to see yours truly on the local Asian station here: LA 18 KSCI-TV.

For some strange reason, I've been asked to make one appearance on the Pinoy television show "Kababayan LA".  For those of you that don't know, "LA" stands for Los Angeles. Oh, you knew that? Of course. For those of you that don't know, the word "Kababayan" translates to "townmate", but on a bigger scale it can mean "countryman," "compatriot," or my own preferred meaning of "homie".

Kababayan LA is described on its website as:

Southern California’s First and ONLY Pinoy Daily TV Show! Each day, host Jannelle So talks to the most interesting and exciting personalities making news around the Filipino community. Watch Kababayan LA weekdays for the latest local and Filipino news as well as the hottest entertainment, gossip and music.

I'm not sure how I fit into all of that. Sure, some may (mistakenly) say that I'm interesting and/or exciting, but I like to think that I was asked on so we can gossip about Britney Spears. Or maybe not...

Baon Blues

If memory serves me right, my very first lunchpail was a beat up plastic yellow box that featured Charlie Brown, Snoopy, and the whole Peanuts gang on it. It was a hand-me-down from my older brother and significantly declined in coolness, and increased in overall wussiness, by a factor of 10 by the time I graduated Kindergarten.

As a first-grader, I was able to grasp the importance of the socio-psycho-economic perceptions put forth by one's choice of a food containment vessel (I've always been an observant lad). For instance:

• Peanuts lunchbox = "Please punch me in the face."
• Casper the Friendly Ghost lunchbox = "Please drag me into the boy's bathroom and stuff my head into the urinal."
• Anything featuring laserbeams, superheroes, or laserbeams = "Don't mess with me or there'll be hell to pay, scoundrels!"

So I articulated the pros and cons of a newly purchased lunchbox to my mother (i.e. cried until I got it, or until my dad put me in a Figure-4 leg lock). After many tears, and a strained anterior-cruciate ligament, I was bestowed with a gleaming metal lunchbox illustrated with the likes of Spiderman, The Incredible Hulk, Captain America, and others that would surely beat the stuffing out of Peppermint Patty, Linus, and Lucy in a steel cage match (Well, maybe not Peppermint Patty. She's a tough cookie).

My new lunchbox was awesome and my playground cred shot through the roof. I didn't have to wait in line for the monkey bars or for the drinking fountain as my peers gifted me with "cutsies" upon my arrival. Coincidence? I think not! Once, while sipping milk from my Marvel Superheroes thermos I saw an anonymous egg salad sandwich sail through the air and nail a kid square in the head whose lunchbox was emblazoned with Care Bears. Public school, a barbarous lot we were.

Yet, as we were often taught at that age, it's what's on the inside that counts. Terribly cliche, but it was especially apropos of lunchboxes and what was carried inside these lunchboxes.

Little Boxes

I apologize for my lack of posting the last few weeks, but things have been very hectic at the Burnt Lumpia Worldwide Headquarters as of late.

In addition to all the hoopla around my birthday and Christmas, the wife and I moved into new digs. And even though our new place of residence is literally only a couple of miles from our old place of residence, a move is still a move and is a pain in the ass nonetheless. On top of all that, I was also out of the state for a few days before Christmas as I traveled cross-country with a couple of buddies of mine. I returned just in time for my wife and me to visit my parents on Christmas Eve, and then visit her parents on Christmas Day.

Considering all of the above circumstances, there hasn’t been much time for unpacking, let alone blogging—our house is strewn with moving boxes, birthday boxes, and Christmas boxes. All I need now is a Balikbayan Box and I’d be the reigning champion and title-holder of the Quadruple Crown of Cardboard Containers.

Oddly enough, the one box I do not have is ye ole internet box—there still is no internet connection at the new Headquarters. The cable guy was supposed to show up last weekend but didn’t, and now he’s supposed to come and install this Thursday. As such, I’m posting this from somewhere I probably shouldn’t be.

Anyhoo, I had a couple of Christmas-themed posts and recipes that I wanted to put up, but I guess I’ll have to shelve those for now and hope they are still relevant in a year. With any luck (or with a reliable cable company) we will have the internet up soon and I could get back to gracing everyone with inane blog entries replete with jokes that are humorous only to me. Good times.

Meanwhile, why don’t you click on the “Links” in the upper left of this page and get to reading some of my fellow food bloggers. They are all excellent, and they all have internet connections.

Happy Holidays!

Meme, Myself, and I

Julie over at One-Wall Kitchen tagged me for this meme. I've always wanted to do one of these, but I've never been tagged before.  Now I feel like one of the cool kids at school.  As such, I will use this opportunity to talk about myself whilst scoffing at my lackeys and underlings.

On to the meme...

What were you cooking/baking 10 years ago?
10 years ago I was in college at THE University of California at Santa Barbara. So I know for a fact that I wasn't cooking much of anything. I was eating lunch at the DLG. Literally.

What were you cooking/baking one year ago?
A year ago, I was cooking things like chili, osso buco, coq au vin, fried chicken, risotto, grilled steak, chicken stock, gumbo, pot roast, and beef and broccoli. I still cook many of these things when I get the chance. Believe it or not, I've never cooked a single Filipino dish until I started this blog (OK, maybe that is believable. I am such a rookie).

Five snacks you enjoy:
I'm not much of a snacker. Oh, wait, I know:

1. Anderson Valley Brewing Company (Barney Flats Oatmeal Stout, Hop Ottin India Pale Ale, Boont Amber Ale)
2. Deschutes Brewery (Black Butte Porter, Mirror Pond Pale Ale)
3. Anchor Brewery (Anchor Porter, Anchor Liberty)
4. Sierra Nevada Brewery (Pale Ale, Porter)
5. PBR

Five recipes you know by heart:

1. A proper Old-Fashioned (I prefer Maker's Mark, no soda)
2. A proper Martini (3 parts gin, not vodka. 1 part vermouth. Stir with ice, no shaking. 1 olive)
3. Pinakbet
4. Chicken Adobo
5. Chicken Stock

Five culinary luxuries you would indulge in if you were a millionaire:

1. Many trips to the Philippines to try the cuisine of each region.
2. Trips to Spain and Japan (I've never been).
3. I'd raise my own organic, all-natural pigs (I'm serious).
4. A meal at The French Laundry every couple of months (more frequent visits would bankrupt me).
5. *And I'd open up a restaurant named "Steers, Beers, and Rears".  It will be like Hooters, but classier. It will be a steak and brewhouse in which thong-clad beauties would bring patrons large cuts of rare beef and foamy steins of ale. There will be balloon animals and magic.  There will be a jovial bartender named Rodolfo and he will refuse to wear an eye-patch over his one milky eye.  The men's restroom will be wallpapered with images of smiling monkeys and there will be ice in the urinals.  There will be a 3 foot by 7 foot oil painting of me with a lumpia hiding my identity at the front entrance.  My grandpa will be the doorman and he will have a toothpick betwixt his lips.

*I'm only joking. That is, unless someone actually opens up a similar restaurant to much fanfare and acclaim. In that case, I will sue you!  Beef, beers, and exposed buttocks are my idea!  Hmmph.

Five foods you love to cook/bake:

1. Pinakbet
2. Longanisa (I've only made it twice, but it's an awesome experience)
3. My secret chili recipe (it's not that great, but I like making it)
4. A fatty rib-eye steak seasoned with only salt and pepper, seared on a scorching hot cast iron pan.
5. Turkey gravy (I can't explain why. It's like some strange alchemy to come up with perfect gravy).

Five foods you cannot/will not eat:
I'm not gonna say there is anything I won't eat.  Sure, there are things like balut that I have never tried and would probably be scared to get near, but I'm sure under the right circumstances I would try anything once.

Five favorite culinary toys:

1. 8-inch Shun Ken Onion Chef's knife (it is my baby and I keep it scary sharp)
2. All-Clad saute pan (we make everything in that pan, from homemade tomato sauce to chicken adobo).
3. Krups ice cream maker (I eat a lot of ice cream and I drink a lot of beer. I weigh 300 pounds).
4. My grill (not my iced out mouth, my gas grill).
5. Thermapen instant read thermometer.

Five dishes on your "last meal" menu:

1. Raw oysters on the half-shell
2. Sushi
3. My mom's pinakbet
4. A medium-rare rib-eye steak
5. My wife's homemade apple pie with homemade vanilla ice cream

Five happy food memories:

1. I don't know if this is necessarily happy, but one time, after taking me and my brothers to see Willow (don't ask), my dad tried to make pancit palabok (a type of Filipino noodle dish) for us. The noodles were way overcooked and became rubbery, but I forced myself to eat it because I didn't want to catch an elbow between the shoulder blades from my dad.  The pancit palabok wasn't great, but I have that memory etched in my brain for some reason.  Good times.
2. A cheap Hawaiian plate lunch I had with my wife on our honeymoon.
3. When I was a little kid, I remember my grandmother making the cake for my aunt's wedding. I don't remember what kind of cake it was, but there were all these layers and scraps of layers and flowers made out of icing. My grandma let me eat the scraps and the extra icing flowers. I only weighed 200 pounds then. I was 11 years old.
4. Sushi at Morimoto.
5. Lunch at Aux Lyonnaise.

I am passing this meme off to Krizia, Manggy, Oggi, Pat, Joey, and Christine, but none of them should feel obligated to participate.  And if anyone else wants in on this, have at it.

Oh, and one more thing.  If you haven't noticed already, I've consolidated my About page, links, and a recipe archive all in one place under the "Lumpia Filling" heading at the top left of this blog. Have a gander.

Street Cred and Shameless Self-Promotion

If I were a struggling rap artist (Big Marv) trying to sell my mixtape ("Ready to Fry: The Burnt Lumpia Chronicles") out of the trunk of my rusted-out car (it really is starting to rust, it's awesome), I'd probably try and peddle my mixtape to you like this:

*****

Hey man, you like hip-hop? You wanna buy my mixtape? It's got some dope tracks on it. For real. The crew over at Serious Eats bob their heads to my joints on Irradiated Mangoes and Purple Pancakes.

Wait, where you going? OK, I know those are oldies, but they're still goodies! Wait! Hold on, don't walk away yet. I got some newer ish and its burnin' up the streets! Sick beats! Sick beats!

Not only did homedude David Lebovitz stop by the studio to give me some input on my Ube Ice Cream track, he hipped his own peeps on me over at his place. His pastry chef skillz are world-wide son! DL is a cookbook author extraordinaire! He's legit son!

OK, wait, wait, wait! Hold up a second speedy! Give one more listen. Even the Epicurious gang is up on me kid! That shorty Amy Sherman dropped some jewels about my entire mixtape! She's hip to the game homie! You should be too!

Ready to Fry: The Burnt Lumpia Chronicles is only $9.99! And I'll even throw in a free bag of frozen lumpia! It's a rap! Or should I say, it's SARAP! Turn my headphones up!

*****

Aaaaannnnd scene.

Alas, I'm not a struggling rap artist and I'm not pushing a mixtape.  I'm just a lowly food blogger, and I've got as much street cred as, well, a lowly food blogger. But I do honestly appreciate all the inexplicable love I seem to be getting. Thanks for the props everyone.

Word.

**UPDATE**

After reading this entry, my little brother stayed up all night to work on the pic that now appears on the top of this post.  It's his rendering of what my CD cover would look like.  Yeah, that's pretty much what I had in mind.  Notice the "Parental Advisory" sticker.  That's because I'm hardcore.  I only wish I had dropped my album on Tuesday. I would have totally outsold Fifty and Kanye combined. Or maybe not.

Trapped in the Drive-Thru

This is the latest from the great Weird Al Yankovic. It's 11 minutes of pure genius and hilarity; a  spoof on "Trapped in the Closet" by the one and only R. Kelly (that's arr-ruh Kelly). 

When I'm not experimenting with patis, cane vinegar, and soy sauce, and when The Wife isn't in the mood to cook anything from her well-rounded arsenal of weeknight meals, we usually end up in pretty much the same exact situation as Weird Al (well, almost exact, just picture a Filipino dude and a red-headed wife in the cartoon).

While I’ve been trapped in the drive-thru a few times, I've never been trapped in the closet (Rimshot! You did not see that coming!).

Wrapper's Delight (A tease)

This blogging thing is harder than I thought.  I had plans today to post about the eponymous origins of this blog, but have had no time.  I'm off to Vegas for the weekend (it's The Wife's birthday as well as NBA All-Star weekend in the city of sin). In addition to avoiding getting shivved, I hope to have some good food as well.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I'll see Kobe Bryant at the Pink Taco. We'll see.

Not that I have any readers, but I figured I'd give a little tease to the post I mentioned earlier, which I will hopefully regale everyone with upon my return from Vegas: