This Monday, February 25 I will be making an appearance on (very, very, very local) television--sans the charred lumpia hiding my identity.
If you happen to live in Southern California, and will be at home this coming Monday at 4:30pm, then you will be able to see yours truly on the local Asian station here: LA 18 KSCI-TV.
For some strange reason, I've been asked to make one appearance on the Pinoy television show "Kababayan LA". For those of you that don't know, "LA" stands for Los Angeles. Oh, you knew that? Of course. For those of you that don't know, the word "Kababayan" translates to "townmate", but on a bigger scale it can mean "countryman," "compatriot," or my own preferred meaning of "homie".
Kababayan LA is described on its website as:
Southern California’s First and ONLY Pinoy Daily TV Show! Each day, host Jannelle So talks to the most interesting and exciting personalities making news around the Filipino community. Watch Kababayan LA weekdays for the latest local and Filipino news as well as the hottest entertainment, gossip and music.
I'm not sure how I fit into all of that. Sure, some may (mistakenly) say that I'm interesting and/or exciting, but I like to think that I was asked on so we can gossip about Britney Spears. Or maybe not...
Actually, I was asked onto the show to talk about blogging. And honestly, that's pretty much all I know about my appearance so far. I don't know if there will be other Pinoy bloggers there, I'm not exactly sure how long I will be on, and I'm pretty sure I won't be doing any cooking (sad, that). But that's probably best as I have little control over my own facilities when I'm nervous, and I'm very nervous about this. So me sitting in a chair is probably the safest bet for everyone in the studio.
As such, I have three goals and three goals only for my appearance on this show:
- Talk about Filipino food.
- Do NOT make an ass of myself.
- Do NOT, under any circumstances, say anything inappropriate to the Oh So Lovely Host, Ms. Jannelle So (My Wife will be watching closely).
I will try my best to accomplish #1, but I can't guarantee anything for nos. 2 and 3. Besides my natural resemblance to being a huge dork, another thing going against me is that the Oh So Lovely Ms. So interacts with her guests in both English and Tagalog.
I speak very little Tagalog.
And by "very little" I mean zero.
The Oh So Lovely Ms. So is indeed aware that I don't speak any Tagalog, but I'm still afraid that she'll forget and then ask me a question in Tagalog, and then I'll answer with:
"Uhh, um, uhhhhh. Maganda!"
Meanwhile, millions of Filipinos across the Southland will be silently judging me. Actually, the judging will probably be done out loud, with furled eyebrows and pointing lips. My mother will hide her head in her hands in shame. And my dad might, just might, punch something--perhaps a furry little animal, but more likely someone's throat.
I have very low expectations for myself, so on the scale of humiliation and unintentional comedy, I hope I land somewhere between these guys:
I'm not sure if KSCI-TV is available on satellite television, but if so, then all the more eyes to see a potential disaster. And don't worry, if any of you miss this disaster, I will try and post the vid next week. Wish me luck.
I'ma get on this TV, Mama!
I'ma, I'ma put sh*t dooooowwwwwwwwnnnn.