Burnt Lumpia

A Fish Story

The following is loosely based on actual events...

INT.  LOCAL FILIPINO MARKET - NOON

Marvin zips through the automated market doors and makes a beeline toward the back of the store--past the colorful bottles of banana ketchup and fish sauce, and beyond the refrigerated aisles of fermented shrimp paste and calamansi-flavored sodas. He reaches the fish counter in a huff.

OLD FISHMONGER GUY

What you want?

MARVIN
(perusing the assortment of fresh fish on ice)

Uh, you don't have any snapper today, huh?

OLD FISHMONGER GUY
(saying something in Tagalog that Marvin can't understand)

Blah, blah, blah, isda, blah.

MARVIN

(sheepishly)

Uh, I don't speak Tagalog.

OLD FISHMONGER GUY

You are not Filipino?

MARVIN

I am. I just don't speak Tagalog.

OLD FISHMONGER GUY

You look Korean.

MARVIN
(thinking to himself)

If I look Korean, why the hell are you talking to me in Tagalog?

(to the Fishmonger)

I get that all the time, but I'm Filipino.

Homemade Longanisa v2.0

During the lifespan of this here Filipino Food Blog, I've made some food that I never thought I'd have the skill, chops, or know-how, to make. I'm not saying any of this food has been perfect, I'm an inexperienced hack after all, but I've at least been able to avoid self-induced food poisoning that could have been caused by my overwhelming lack of said skill, chops, or know-how. But it turns out that with a little research, and a lot of patience, seemingly difficult dishes can be prepared with relative ease.

Take for instance, the Filipino pork sausage known as Longanisa (also spelled longanissa, longganisa, longannisa, and everything in between). Almost 2 years ago, I made my own homemade Longanisa from scratch. This initial foray into sausage making, while daunting, resulted in some dang tasty pork links. Overall, it was a satisfying enough experience that I had to pat myself on the back a la Barry Horowitz.

However, after a visit to the Philippines last year and sampling the awesomely fatty Ilocano sausages of Batac, and after Josh Bousel of Serious Eats adapted my longanisa recipe with fantastic results, I realized that there was still much room for improvement in my original recipe (let's call that one Homemade Longanisa v1.0, or HL1).

So after some tinkering and fine-tuning here at the Burnt Lumpia Worldwide Headquarters, I've finally devised a better sausage--a tastier, fattier sausage more evocative of the Longanisa I enjoyed in the Northern Philippines last summer. Ah yes, by streamlining a few ingredients while simultaneously adding more pork fat(!), I was able to evolve my old recipe into a new and improved version: Homemade Longanisa v2.0!

And with this New and Improved (Now with 50% MORE Fat!) version of Longanisa, I am happy to add it to my personal list of Porky Pinoy Pavorites...

Spicy Filipino Vinegar

Old empty jars are a hot commodity in my mother's kitchen. Mayonnaise jars, pickle jars, spaghetti sauce jars, peanut butter jars, jelly jars, jar jars... if it's glass and has a screw-top lid and is almost empty, chances are that my mother will soon rinse out any remnants and set the jar aside for another use.

For instance, the ol' lass has been known to pour cooled bacon grease straight from skillet to mayo jar (though she also sometimes uses an old coffee can for grease containment). My mother has also taken to the practice of pouring some oil and vinegar into a jar, screwing on the lid, and then shaking the bejeebus out of the jar to make a simple vinaigrette (I'm not sure that my mom owns a whisk).

However, perhaps the most common purpose for my mother's repurposed jars is in the containment of Spicy Filipino Vinegar: vinegar that has been infused with Siling Labuyo (Thai chili/Bird's eye peppers). This fiery concoction is also known as Sili Suka, Sukang Sili, Suka't Sili, and/or Sinamak (I didn't know of the Sinamak nomenclature until some readers commented on it in my last post on Filipino Vinegars).

I'm Gonna Git You Suka

Vinegar, or Suka (as it is known in the Philippines), is one of the most used ingredients in the Filipino kitchen. The prevalent use of Suka is due in large part to the extended shelf life bestowed upon goodies cooked in vinegar--a necessary culinary "voodoo" needed for tropical climes during the days of pre-refrigeration. But aside from its preservative powers, we Filipinos also just happen to like the elevated flavor punch that vinegar provides--that certain Asim (sourness) that we love oh so much in our food.

For instance, vinegar is the key player in many Filipino dishes like Paksiw, Kinilaw (raw fish "cooked" in vinegar, kinda like a ceviche), various dipping sauces, and a variety of different marinades. And of course, Adobo is perhaps the prime example of a vinegar-based Filipino dish. Heck, as I've shown here in the past, with a good bottle of vinegar you can Adobo most anything: Chicken, squid, water spinach, pork belly, and even ribs.

Mmmm. Ribs. I sho' am hungry...

Ah, I'm Gonna Git You Sucka. It's a classic.

Anyways, while I've demonstrated a few different uses of vinegar before, I've never really explained that there are also quite a few different types of vinegar that may be found in the Filipino pantry. Seeing as how vinegar is such an integral part of Filipino cuisine, and because there's such a wide spectrum of Suka in use in the Philippines, I thought I'd take the time to compare and contrast some of these potent potions (at least the ones that are readily available in my neck of the woods). Keep in mind though, that the vinegars I tasted are commercially made and probably can't compare to the artisanal and local vinegars made in the different regions of the Philippines.

Embutido: Filipino-Style Meatloaf

If there's one comfort food that both Americans and Filipinos can identify with, it's meatloaf. I have some fond memories from my childhood of stabbing a piece of my mother's meatloaf with my fork, dipping it in some ketchup, and then plunging the tomato-clad meat into my mouth, followed by a forkful of steamed rice.

Oh yes, we Filipinos loves us some meatloaf--or more specifically, Filipino Meatloaf known as Embutido.

What makes Embutido different from regular ol' meatloaf?

Well firstly, instead of being baked in a loaf pan like meatloaf, Embutido is usually rolled into a log shape in cheese cloth or foil and then baked or steamed. I've read that Embutido is cooked in this way because in its original form (a long, long time ago) Embutido was nothing more than ground meat stuffed into big hog casings--much like a giant sausage (hence the current practice of rolling it in cheese cloth or foil).

Embutido also sets itself apart from regular ol' meatloaf in that Embutido is usually stuffed with whole hard boiled eggs and whole hotdogs!

Yes, hot dogs. Or if you're really lucky, Vienna Sausages.

I'm sure there are some of you out there scratching your domes over the thought of a meatloaf studded with whole eggs and wieners. In fact, when serving Filipino Meatloaf to someone who's never had it before, they are likely to say something like:

"Why, there's whole eggs and wieners in this meatloaf! Either this is some sort of cruel joke or [takes bite of Embutido] this is the awesomest meatloaf known to man!"

Indeed, Embutido is the awesomest meatloaf known to man.

Not only does the filling of wieners and eggs make for a striking presentation when the Embutido is sliced, but wieners and eggs taste good too. Mmmm, wieners and eggs.

Green Mangoes and Bagoong

The mere mention of "Green Mangoes and Bagoong" will likely excite the salivary glands of almost any Filipino. It's true.

Green Mangoes and Bagoong.

Green Mangoes and Bagoong!

Green Mangoes and Bagoong!!!

The pairing of sour unripe mangoes dipped in salty fermented shrimp paste (Bagoong) may not sound too appealing to some, but it's a mouth-watering combination for most Filipinos. In fact, after reading the first few lines of this post, I'm sure that there are some gleek-covered computer screens out there due to the certain downpour of Pavlovian drool.

Up until recently though, my own Pavlovian response to green mangoes and bagoong did indeed entail salivation... except it was the sort of salivation associated with nausea. Yeah, vomit spit (ewww). You see, when I was a wee lad I would recoil in horror as I watched my mother snack on this sour/salty delicacy. Eating unripe fruit was strange enough to me as a child, but to then dip and smother the unripe fruit in stinky rotting shrimp was altogether... well, it was just plain gross.

For those who have never had the pleasure of eating bagoong, it is a very pungent and salty paste comprised of itty-bitty teeny-weeny fermenting shrimp. While Bagoong is salty in flavor, its funky aroma is kinda like if anchovies had feet, and wore dirty socks with an old pair of sneakers, and walked around town in the afternoon sun, in July--but in a good way.

As I've gotten older though, I have learned to enjoy Bagoong in tiny doses. Heck, I even made a salad with it. However, I've always avoided eating bagoong where it is one of the primary in-your-face ingredients--such as the condiment for green mangoes. But I must confess that I've finally discovered the virtues of this classic pairing.

A Shot of Gulaman

Gulaman, to those not in the know, is a Filipino gelatin-like substance made from dried and processed red seaweed. Gulaman may be better known in other parts of the world as Agar-Agar, agar, or carrageenan. Put even more simply, Gulaman can best be described as "Filipino Jello."

Wobbly cubes of Gulaman can usually be found in Filipino sweets, sitting atop tall glasses of Halo-halo, or mixed into cool drinks like Sago at Gulaman (a Filipino dessert kinda-sorta-but-not-really similar to bubble tea and jelly).

Although Gulaman, at first glance, does look a lot like American jello, there are some very key differences. Firstly, Gulaman is 100% vegetarian since it's made from seaweed, whereas gelatin is made from the crushed bones of puppies, kittens, and koala bears (a sad but true fact). Gulaman also sets at room temperature (and can be kept out at room temperature), while gelatin needs to be refrigerated. Lastly, gulaman does not melt in your mouth (or in your hand for that matter) like gelatin does. In fact, once set, gulaman will not melt again until it reaches 185 degrees F. So unless you're a dragon, you'll have to chew on gulaman a bit before swallowing. And if you are a dragon, hey man, that's cool.

In spite of the differences between gulaman and gelatin, gulaman can (and should) be used in many of the same ways as gelatin. For example, gulaman lends itself particularly well to the following gelatin-friendly applications:

• Good ol'-fashioned wrastlin'!
• Office pranks
• Edible alcoholic shots

While I would have loved to experiment with the first two items on that list (especially the wrastlin'!), I only had enough gulaman to try my hand at edible cocktails.

A Bun in the Oven (& Some Ensaimada Too)

Some changes have been in the works here at the Burnt Lumpia Worldwide Headquarters over the past few weeks and months. Most recently, the wife and I have been shuffling things from room to room to make room for other things--if that makes sense.

We've pretty much been emptying and clearing out our home office (which was originally an extra bedroom). I've shifted my work desk out of the office and into the breakfast nook next to our kitchen (now making that space more conducive to food blogging). And since there was nowhere else to stow the rest of my office junk, our guestroom is now a guestroom/storage room (now making that space more conducive to shorter visits from my parents. I'm kidding. Kind of.).

And what about the now empty room formerly known as our "office"?

We're turning it into a nursery!

Yes, I'm happy to announce that the wife and I are expecting our first child! "Baby Lumpia" is due in early August, and yes, we do know the sex of the baby--though I think I'll keep that bit of information under wraps, for now at least. Obviously, I've been holding on to this good news for a while now and waiting for the right time to share it with everyone here. But with all the crazy goings-on needed to prepare for a baby (A BABY!), I've been a bit distracted to say the least.

To celebrate the wife's growing belly (and appetite), I decided to bake... a bun in the oven of course! The particular buns I attempted to bake are actually sweet Filipino brioche rolls called Ensaimada.

I know, baking isn't exactly my forte here. I've never baked any sort of bread before, let alone Ensaimada. But I've never had a kid before either. I figure that if I can make a decent Filipino Ensaimada, I've got a decent chance at learning how to change a diaper--both activities involve a great deal of softened butter (insert rimshot here).

With a new baby and all, at least there will be someone besides myself that finds great amusement in poop jokes. At least that's my hope...

In Like A Lion...

As indicated by the three measly recipes I've posted so far this year (here, here, and here), I haven't been in the kitchen much as of late. My absence from the Burnt Lumpia Worldwide Headquarters Kitchen is not due to a lack of motivation or hunger (OK, maybe a little bit).

In all truthfulness though, my winter has been very, uh, eventful. As the saying goes, In like a lion... I suppose.

Note: Not an actual lion.

I've been generally busy, but the events that have really kept me out of the kitchen and away from my blog range from terribly bad (this economy is a mother-effing bitch!), to wonderfully good (woohoooo!). And yes, I'm being very vague on purpose--I'll share more later (maybe).

But I did want to check in and let everyone know that I'll be back to posting recipes regularly, answering comments, and visiting everyone's wonderful blogs very soon--I just have to catch my breath is all. Spring is just around the corner, better days ahead... out like a lamb.

Theme Magazine

Theme Magazine is a bi-monthly magazine based out of Brooklyn, NY that focuses on contemporary Asian culture. True to it's name, each issue of the magazine follows a different theme.

The current theme for the current Theme is "For the Love of Food." And, as luck would have it, I happen to be mentioned in a wonderfully written piece by food writer, Drew Lazor, entitled "Gastroporn."

In the article, Lazor talks about the growth and popularity of food blogs, and touches on a few different types of food blogs like Serious Eats, gas•tron•o•my, FriedWontons4u, Gastroanthropology, Rasa Malaysia, Lunch with Front Studio, Midtown Lunch, and yours truly.

In addition to finding the above article online, Theme also features a soundtrack of food-related songs that I'm actually listening to right now. (You're looking good fly colored Asian.)

The Food Issue of Theme Magazine is out on newsstands now, so do pick up a copy and check the magazine out.